JULIE GILLASPIE

Relationship & Love Coach

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What My Clients Are Saying…

Mark & Cecilia - Toronto, Canada

Recently Married

"There was a point where we were actually fighting, and she was a really great referee. She would slow us down and say, "What's going on with you? Now what's going on with you? Let's bring this all together". She did it in a way that was really fair and allowed me to feel seen . . . We both felt very held, we both felt very seen. There was never a feeling that she was sort of one on one side or the other . . . It's just helped our relationship tremendously going forward. It's not like we don't ever fight now, but now we have the tools to be able to see each other, and to really connect in a caring, loving way."
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Lisa - Denver, CO

In Committed Partnership - Engaged

"I worked on a really traumatic issue with Julie. In addition to being incredibly supportive and compassionate, Julie was impressively perceptive, helping me to identify the parts of myself that I was judging, and skillfully guiding me through a process to help me dissolve the shame and guilt I was feeling. As a result of working with Julie, I was able to come to a place of acceptance and gratitude for myself, and also gain a greater awareness of how I want to show up and work toward becoming the person I want to be in this world. I highly recommend Julie's coaching- it was deeply impactful for me."
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Alex - Manchester, UK

Single/Dating

"Julie helped me learn how to be true to myself. She gave me strategies that are helpful in dating situations. She provided me with advice and clarity about the proper way to speak to women I'm interested in. Julie helped me to understand a woman's perspective, and made me realize how my words could come across to women. Most importantly, through Julie's guidance, I learned that it's okay to be vulnerable. The more I show my true self, the better chance I have of having a lasting relationship with someone who likes me as I am!"
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Ana - Seattle, WA

In Long Term Committed Relationship

"Julie's coaching sessions have been extremely valuable to me. I sought her because I'd often feel frozen in fear and I didn't know how to speak up my needs without feeling a burden. I appreciate all the skills she brings to our sessions, her gentleness, directness, attentive listening, intuition, empathy and humor. After doing working with Julie, I feel more empowered, relaxed and present in all areas of my life. I know how to regulate myself through strong emotions and I feel comfortable asking others for what I need."
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Laura - NJ

Happy in a New Partnerrship

"I worked with Julie, she helped me map out some specific goals that I wanted to reach. I met all of those goals. I have had a chance to practice what I have learned and I can honestly say right now, it has been life changing. I can speak up for myself, self soothe - the tools that she taught me that I now use in every day life have helped all of the relationships in my life and has helped me about how I feel about these relationships. Her course is so valuable. To anyone that is looking for guidance and help that is clear and specific to you and your issues, Julie's ability to focus in on this, teach you what you need in a way you can understand is parallel to none."
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Gaby - Santa Barbara, CA

Single/Dating

"With Julie's help, I have become more aware of what is preventing me from being present with people. She guided me through questions to help me understand how and why I struggle to remain present. I have learned to push through what is going on in my head to continue being present in the moment. Throughout our time together, I felt heard and like Julie was a mirror and was able to understand and summarize my convoluted thoughts and actions. She helped put a plan together to continue moving forward and heal."
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Rebecca - Newburgh, NY

Happy in a New Partnerrship

 "Julie helped me learn how to tune into myself and hear my inner voice which helped me develop self trust. She modeled for me how to set healthy boundaries and encouraged me to voice my opinions. Now I am in a new relationship with a very healthy and stable individual and I was able to attract that into my life because the coaching with Julie helped me create that relationship with myself. I highly recommend Julie to anyone who is looking for support in the area of love and relationships. She was a savior in my life."
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Michelle - Denver, CO

In a New Committed Relationship

"I started working with Julie earlier this year when I was struggling in a secure relationship. I didn't have very good self-esteem and I really wasn't sure what I wanted anymore. I knew I needed help getting unstuck . . . Over the course of the next few months, Julie was able to help me find the courage to walk away from a relationship that was no longer meeting my needs. With her help, I was able to grow and move forward at a much faster pace than I would've on my own."
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"My wife and I agree, Julie literally saved our marriage. We were on the doorstep of separation after 18 years of ups and downs. In order to convince ourselves that we had given our relationship every possible chance, we contacted Julie on a trusted friend’s recommendation. We talked openly before our first meeting that at least we could use Julie for guidance through a respectful separation. 9 months later I can honestly say we could not have been more fortunate to have found Julie. I admit I was skeptical meeting remotely via video conference, fearing the nuances of human communication would be lost. My fears were happily, wrong. Julie relied on her attentive listening skills and detailed observation of non-verbal cues to overcome any perceived barriers of video meetings. My wife and I both felt a surprising connection with Julie despite being in another state. Julie’s patient and insightful assessment of the underlying issues that had been plaguing our relationship led to actionable behaviors and ‘home work’ that helped my wife and I realize we were still closer than either of us thought. Julie gave us solid and effective communication tools that helped us to be more thoughtful, present, and civil, even when we disagreed passionately about life’s issues. Through dedicated practice (and many failed or less than ideal marital interactions) and consistent check-ins, Julie has guided us to a place where we feel as connected as we ever have. To be clear, our journey was, and remains, challenging work for both my wife and I, but our growth with Julie has been a path of serious introspection and commitment to improving our relationship with guidance from a practiced and effective coach. Julie provided consistent feedback, which was sometimes hard to hear, to help us navigate through challenging times. We are grateful for Julie's kind attention and guidance."
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Mike & Melinda - California

Married 20 years with kids

"Julie has been my coach for the past year and a half. I could not have imagined the transformations and growth that I have made in my life without her support, guidance, presence and experience. She has helped me to change the way I process life's challenges, whether it be in relationships with others, life's challenges, and even my relationship to myself. She has given me an integrated view of how to relate to the world and myself in a healthier way. I am grateful to have spent both joyful and difficult moments with her, always leaving with a better understanding of myself."
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Dave - Toronto

Facing changes in relationship and life 

"I recently found myself wanting to end a six-year relationship. I was struggling with low self-esteem and owning my needs. I knew I needed help processing my experience and another coach at The Relationship School® recommended Julie. When I started working with Julie I was at a real low point. Over the next several months Julie helped me find the courage to leave an unhealthy relationship, own my needs and stand in my truth and face some of the issues from childhood that I had not fully addressed. I found her ability to intuitively know what I needed at each step remarkable. She was able to both hold a safe space for me to process my feelings and challenge me to look at old belief systems and patterns that were no longer serving me. I feel that with Julie’s help I have taken steps to move forward and grow at a much faster pace then I would have on my own. I’m so pleased I choose to work with Julie as my coach. I would recommend her to anyone who finds they need extra support and has the motivation to take on their growth work."
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Michelle - Denver, CO

In a New Relationship

"Julie created a safe space where my partner and I could feel comfortable revealing ourselves and hearing each other. She taught us to pause when things get tough, and to not go down the rabbit hole of what happened or what didn’t happen. Although my partner and I continue to run into occasional difficulties, we have definitely made great strides in our ability to slow down, pause, be respectful, and get all the way through a conversation without it falling apart."
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John - California 

Long Term Committed Partnership 

 "Julie was very effective, and she was very effective very quickly. I appreciate her direct (but empathetic and respectful) approach, as this approach helped me get to where I needed to get much faster than I've experienced with other coaches. She listened to what I was meaning, even if it was not necessarily what I was saying, and she tapped into that very intuitively and naturally. This helped me understand where I wanted to be, and we moved to planning my new world sooner than later."
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Lucas - Ontario

Proud of his relationship with his 2 daughters

"I have been trying to reconcile the guilt and anxiety I have around my mom for a long time. I've read books, taken classes, listened to podcasts, etc, on forgiveness, healing, etc. but I could never really get to the bottom of why I felt the way I did. My sessions with Julie did that for me and it felt huge. I also saw how that pattern showed up in other relationships in my life – at work, with my partner, etc. I am still seeing it show up but with the understanding I have, it doesn't snag me in quite the same way. I am super grateful to Julie. She was able to take a lot of my babbling / stream of consciousness about things and reflect it back to me in a way that made me feel understood – which also helped me understand myself more."
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Rachel - California

Committed Relationship

 "Julie is an emotional excavator. She helped me reach into my normally closed off emotions and actually realize that I really do care about things that I was just taking for granted. She held space for me to be vulnerable, which made it less scary to look deeper within myself, be okay with what I found there, and learn from it."
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Chris - New York 

Navigating the waters of a stormy 20-year marriage 

"Julie listened & stayed focused on me & not my story of what happened. She modeled a new perspective and helped me set goals. She not only gave me tips & tools to use in real life, but followed up and made sure I was using them. I use the word “and” differently & often now. It’s now a power word for me. “I hear what you’re saying to me in response AND I still don’t feel understood.” Julie challenged me and I liked when she called me out or shared impact - it felt truly unbiased and real."
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Laura - New Jersey

Long term committed relationship with kids

"I worked with Julie during a time of transition. I was being asked to speak up for myself to people who weren’t treating me well. I found that my time with Julie covered so much, and that her perception was very attuned to my psyche and my inner growth. The conversations flowed naturally and I felt myself feeling more free and solid as a result. Julie uses the relationship work guided by Jayson Gaddis, whose work is wonderful because it doesn’t cycle over painful past experience, but it does sit with understanding the past. The work invited a growing edge to emerge and inspired me to ask for what I want moving forward. I truly feel the profoundness and usefulness of relationship coaching, as relationships are crucial to every facet of living. Thank you Julie."  
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Nina - Bellingen, Australia

Separated Co-parenting Relationship

"Julie - Thank you so much for your gift of presence each session we have with you. I so appreciate you helping us to bring our love back into our relationship. You really are such a gift. My words cannot express the deep gratitude I feel for the gift of love you help us to unearth each hour we spend with you."
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Holly & Bob - California

Married 20 Years with Kids

"Julie’s ability to hold space for me and everything I was experiencing made me feel safe. She gave me permission to experience my emotions in a way no one else had. At the same time, she was capable of challenging me when I was shutting down. As a result of her pointing out where I was abandoning myself, I was able to own my needs better. One of the greatest gifts from working with Julie was learning to tune into the feedback my body was giving me when I was out of alignment with myself. As a result I'm now able to take better care of myself in my relationships."
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Michelle - Colorado 

Committed Long-Term Partnership

"Julie has been instrumental in guiding me to develop relationship skills to create the confidence in standing up for an effective, loving, growth focused relationship. By challenging me to stick to what I say I want and pushing me to get clearer on what I want, I have been able to unlock new possibilities."
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Taylor - Seattle, Washington

 Single/Dating (Post 5 year Committed Relationship)

"Julie's ability to listen well and identify the core issue is a breath of fresh air. She has a wealth of tools and life experience that she brings to the work of relationships. Most of all, Julie is kind and firm, which I deeply appreciate in a coach. I would work with her again in a heartbeat."
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Cesar - Boulder, CO

Long Term Committed Relationship

"Wow - Julie really held the container for us in a stable, solid, non-confrontational way. She gave us tools when needed. She held an impartiality that I appreciated. She also helped us to do some really important work around our needs. Some specific results we experienced are: 1) My partner and I are more likely to use non-confrontational language when things get heated 2) I am aware that I have serious issues regarding understanding my needs (before, I was oblivious to this) 3) My partner and I are more aware of where we go off-track regarding our sex life. Coming out of coaching I now feel much better about communication with my partner and much more confident at navigating challenges together."
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Cecilia - Toronto, Ontario

Long Term Committed Partnership

"Julie was incredibly helpful in resolving some issues that my partner and I were struggling to navigate. She brought clear perspective to our problem and offered several tools to aid us with our communication skills as well as our ability to handle conflict in a constructive manner. Since implementing the tools that Julie suggested, we have noticed a drastic improvement in how we communicate with each other and how quickly we are able to repair the relationship after conflict. Thanks Julie."  
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Joe & Brooke - Denver, CO

13 year Committed Partnership

"Julie’s calm and positive outlook helped me accept myself more. Now, instead of always pushing and trying, I am much more accepting, and have faith that things will happen as they're meant to. It is much less difficult to speak my mind, have clear boundaries, and not take on blame and responsibility for things that aren't on me. I have been speaking up more in all kinds of ways and now understand the importance of letting the people in my world see and understand the real me."
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J. King - California 

Divorced

"Julie excels at being present and available emotionally to her clients. I feel like whatever I threw at her in our sessions, she had the capability and leadership to deal with it and keep us focused on the goals. In our sessions, I learned the impact that feeling through my feelings makes on my overall mental and emotional health, as well as techniques that help me get in touch with my feelings. I have started a new relationship and have been able to state my own needs from the beginning as a result of our coaching." 
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Cara Brown - California

Comitted Relationship 

"Our issue is that we are planning to get married and we wanted to go into marriage with our eyes open. We needed to look at several issues that we just had not gotten around to looking at. Julie was a magnificent help. She really holds the container and shows real compassion and discernment when it comes to who needs the attention, when to focus on someone, and how to get to the bottom of the issue. Several issues that were fights for us became unraveled as a result of Julie's gentle but firm coaching. As a result, we were able to work through a number of issues that both of us were a bit afraid to dive into before."  
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Mark -Toronto, Canada

Long Term Committed Partnership 

"Julie has helped me find my true value in myself by guiding me to allow all of my emotions and accept them just the way they are. She helped me prioritize my need for self care and learn to set boundaries with those closest to me. She helped me do this by asking me important questions and encouraging me to go for it. My mom, my dad, my ex - these were all people I set clear boundaries with and I am reaping the benefits every day."
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Susie Van Guilder - North Carolina 

Single/Dating

"Julie is an incredible relationship coach. She has an armory of tools that has helped me develop my emotional self; guiding me with a new language for my relationship; and developing a new awareness about my place in this world, my relationship, and my life. Julie shows incredible compassion and sensitivity when addressing the most sensitive of issues, guiding you through with baby steps until you feel confident to face the real world alone. I never felt judged, I always felt encouraged and was given the space to practice (and fail). I was always impressed by how I felt value from every session, even when I was sure I had nothing to discuss. Thank you Julie for your patience and your energy!"
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Jason - Toronto 

Married with kids

"Julie a natural. She often lightened the heaviness between my partner and myself and shed light on both of our shadows in a non-threatening way. That's an awesome rare skill. I was able to clearly see some of my unconscious habits and own my resentment around over-giving. As a result, I communicate in a more honest and transparent way and I feel a lot closer to my partner. Thank you for sharing what you do with us, Julie."
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Tommy - California

2 Year Live-in Partnership 

"Julie is a great listener and at the same time was very capable of challenging me on issues that were difficult for me to see. She is extremely present and helped me tremendously in seeing the areas where I lose connection in relationship. I recommend Julie to anyone that wants to go deeper and feel a more profound connection to themselves."
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Gregg - New York

Single/Dating

"Julie got right to the heart of my situation. In a very short amount of time, she was able to help me identify two core issues that were affecting the ways that I view my relationships, and she gave suggestions for how to further explore these issues within myself. If you are on the fence about whether to work with Julie, take the plunge--it will be worth it!"  
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Luisa - Boulder, CO

Committed Relationship 

"Words can't describe how much my life has changed in a successful way since I've had Julie as my coach! She is insightful, patient, non-judgmental, knowledgeable, compassionate - and she calls me out when I need be. Julie took me out of a victim's mindset and put me into an empowered mindset. My attitude and outlook on life in general has completely changed. She helped me realize that I deserve what I want, what is realistic and what is not. She made me take responsibility for my decisions! I am in just such a better place!"
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Jen - Carmel Valley, California

 Long Term Committed Partnership

"When I started coaching with Julie, my sense of reality was very shaky after recently ending a relationship, and Julie’s support helped me to learn to trust myself again. I had lost the woman I once was, and Julie helped me find her again. I am stronger and healthier now than I have ever been in my entire adult life. Julie gave me confidence in myself again, and helped me to discover the things that have held me back in love. I'm still a work in progress, but I know the work I have done with Julie has helped me establish a sturdy foundation to continue building upon!"
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Rebecca - Newburgh, New York

In a New Relationship


"With Julie’s skills & encouragement, I learned to set/communicate boundaries in a more assertive and clear way. This allowed me to concentrate on my needs and make decisions outside of an environment that was making me feel anxious, depressed, pressured, and confused. She helped me look at different perspectives that I couldn’t currently see because of emotions and anxiety, and take the necessary steps to move myself into a more safe and positive environment. "
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Sharon - Nebraska 

Separated - 30 years of marriage

“It takes courage...to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

- MARIANNE WILLIAMSON